The Thinking Substance...

There are too many things going on in the world. I need to focus my thoughts on what Wallace D. Wattles calls, “the stuff from which all things are made.” Wattles swears that if I Xerox my desire to be a guest on The Mo’Nique Show into this “thinking substance,” it will produce the thing I want. 

But alas… I’m distracted by the world of national politics. The radical Republicans, Rick Snyder, Libya, Egypt, Japan and now Syria…? I can’t focus for shit. I’m a political junkie and thank you for the levity in the image of Obama being locked out of the White House was apropo in light of all the buzz around the move he made with Libya. What? Bypassing the big boys!

Apparently Obama has some explaining to do to Congress. Some of the Repubs, Dems and Tea Party people aren't too happy up there on the hill. They're grumbling big time. Can you imagine the thought bubbles above their heads... Wait one uppity minute Mr. Kenyan man, you can’t make deals with NATO without asking us... You can’t kick Gadafi/Khadafi out of bed when we’re still in a love/hate relationship with him... You need to check with somebody before you bomb Khadafi/Gadafi’s compound without our permission... Who do you think you are, Mr. No Birth Certificate?... Look Mr. Obamacare, you job killing sleaze we're not saying we don't like bombs and war and ass backwards, anti-abortion bills... We just want to be clear... We make the big boy decisions around here... yada, yada, yada!

This is the noise in my head that keeps me from focusing. Look, all I'm saying is I bet those crazy Republican bitches paid somebody to blackmail somebody to lock a couple of doors to the White House so Obama couldn't get in. We know it wasn’t Michelle. I suppose I’m feeling cynical today. It''s hard not to look at this as another Titanic moment in history. But I'm not going down.. Which brings me to the point: focus on positive, uplifting thoughts like being on The Mo’Nique Show on the thinking stuff and The Science of Getting Rich. I never really cared about being stanky rich before. But now I see the need, there's no middle ground.

Mo’Nique Show, Mo’Nique Show, Mo…

I applied for two writing jobs on Craigslist earlier this week. One was for a, “Creative Writer with a Clean Style.” I sent this Jeff person two samples of news articles I have published online. He replies with a link to three of their websites. They want original content rewrites and ask me to choose one of the sites and do the rewrite. All three sites were advertisements for connecting medical marijuana dispensers and caregivers with patients. That didn’t bother me. I’m not judging the marketplace. What pissed me off were the two misspelled words in one of the quotes in the article. It actually read, “Everyone kept saying there was a dispensary in Birmingham. I tired but I couldn’t find anyting.” Excuse me is Jeff on drugs? I mean seriously... Does anyone out there have Mo’Nique’s number or a Twitter address for the talent coordinator for the show? 

The other ad I answered was for a “Script Supervisor, Qualifications: good listener, good ear for dialogue, screenwriter/storyteller.” I’ve never been a “script supervisor” before, but I have those skills in spades. But even if I didn't, I remember Marianne Williamson saying at a church service some years ago, “If a woman is over 45 years old and she says she wants to do something, get behind her because it won’t take her long.”

I went to meet Jane, but I was wary.

The meeting was in the Buffalo 1 Bar in Keego Harbor on Cass Lake Road. Jane, the director talked too fast. Her perfume was loud and overpowering, especially for someone wearing a jogging suit one size too small. Her nail polish was distractingly red, as she mumbled away a mile a minute, mostly about the men she’d met on set. Jane was proud of the two films she’d made, pointing to the homemade looking DVD covers with images of bleached blond women and maniacal looking men. When she took a breath, I asked where her films were shown. “Film festivals,” she mumbled at warped speed.

Oh.

Jane asked me what I could bring to the table? Table? What table? Humbled Diva that I am, I told her I couldn’t bring anything to the table, really. Unfortunately, I belong to Screen Actors Guild (SAG), her film was non-union and wasn’t she looking for a script supervisor? Jane was back on the mumble talking about she could provide the food, the candy, pizza, subs and chips and one alcoholic beverage in exchange for my “help.” I told her I didn’t eat those things and gas was much more appealing since I could see Windsor from my window and Keego Harbor is 40 miles away.

She was speechless. My chance to talk. I explained I understood she wasn’t paying, that I kept the appointment because I said I would. I told her I’m looking to partner with a filmmaker in making a documentary of my journey to The Mo’Nique Show and you never know whom (or is it who) you'll meet on the way to what you want.

Soft porn film director, Jane and I shook hands. I was polite when I left her soaring scent, blinding nail polish and the Buffalo 1 Bar in Keego Harbor on Cass Lake Road. I left her with Jeremy, the next candidate for the “job” and hoped he wouldn’t drown in the jumble of Jane’s empty words that spelled pure scam.

Needless to say I was a bit depressed on my way back home. The good news is I was able to focus my thoughts on the “thinking stuff from which all things are made.”

The trailer for Jane's film isn't that bad. It's a romantic comedy. Well... sort of. Click here to VIEW. Judge for yourself. It's good publicity for Jane.

And now for a glass of Merlot. This Humbled Diva needs to relax... 

Focus!